“S.E.L.F. Model” for Self-Discipline
Jibran Bashir × April 20, 2019
As per Merriam Webster (America’s most trusted online dictionary) Self Discipline means “correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement”. Term Self-Discipline is also known as Self Control and more positively a Self-Mastery.
According to one study in 2013, people with high self-discipline are happier than those without. The study discovered this is true because the self-disciplined people were more capable of dealing with different aspects of life. These people spent less time debating whether to indulge in behaviors detrimental to their health, and were able to make positive decisions more easily. The self-disciplined did not allow their choices to be dictated by impulses or feelings. Instead, they made informed, rational decisions on a daily basis without feeling overly stressed or upset.
Despite what many may think, self-discipline is a learned behavior. It requires practice and repetition in your day-to-day life. To improve self-discipline, I am presenting my newly developed “S.E.L.F. Model” in this article so that many and many people can learn it and make their lives successful. S.E.L.F. model is based on abbreviation of four interlinked concepts and these are:
1: Silent in front of your Past
2: Enjoy your Present
3: Learn the Life Skills
4: Focus on your Targets
Silent in front of your Past
Someone said that “when your past calls, don’t answer it has nothing new to say.” What this interesting quote really means? As per my understanding, don’t pick up the call of your past memories because you cannot change your horrible past today or you cannot take benefit from your any past glory.
Many people recall other’s behaviors and feel down because of it, that they, at some point in life, treated them ill. To these people, I just want to say that ‘please know that there is something wrong with them, not you, because it’s not a habit of normal people to make others feel bad or even destroy their lives. So never let someone who is not important enough to be a road blocker in your life! Sometimes, painful past relationships keep dragging us back without any purpose, because we do not silence them. For these situations and relationships, I once read a comic quote that said…
“You want to come in my life — the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door; you’re blocking the traffic”.
Some people I observe live in the past because for some reasons it might have been their glory days. It is okay to remember your past but please don’t live there, because that is not your present or future. That is not a place to dwell.
Therefore, stay Silent in front of your past because it has nothing new to say.
Enjoy your present
Even the memories of positive situations, if repeated, affect our enjoyment of the present moment, as they also bring along a feeling of nostalgia, which gives us a feeling that may be the past time was better. So, the present is the only place where we can act on our reality and where we can find opportunities. Energetic and passionate people enjoy the present in a way that even if they are facing difficulties or crisis in life, they smile and take such conditions as an opportunity to learn that how to face the adversity with a positive attitude. Furthermore, they know that 2R’s means their current Resources and Relationships are their real assets so it is vital to live happily with them but to also keep enjoying the journey of excellence in terms of developing more resources and quality relationships.
Learn the Life Skills
The term ‘Life Skills’ refers to the skills a person needs to make the most out of life. Or any skill that is useful in life can be considered a life skill. There is no definitive list of life skills but Goal Setting Skills, Time and Stress Management, Interpersonal and Communication Skills, Decision Making and Problem Solving, Creative Thinking, Self-Awareness, and Leadership and Emotional Intelligence are some of the life skills which every person should learn and use in their life. To learn such skills read personal development books, attend seminars, watch YouTube Videos of different trainers and speakers and so on. We are so busy in our day to day lives, that we don’t even find time to work on our lives. But to actually live, we have to find some time to work on our lives. And this is my own experience that to learn the life skills is an ultimate way to work on our lives.
Focus on your Targets
Here ‘Focus’ means where a person pours his/her time, energy and resources. And ‘Targets’ means a person’s Life Goals. Someone said that “Life without goals is just like a football match without its goal poles”. Thus, it is important that people must have their own goals related to their Learning, Health, Spirituality, Relationships and Earnings and an ultimate focus on them is the key to success in all aspects of life.
Staying focused on your goals is hard. In the beginning, we’re certainly motivated. But we all know how that motivation diminishes over time. We get caught up, stuck, frustrated, overloaded, overworked, distracted, and we simply just turn off track. However, there is a system that helps staying focused on your goals. There are methods and techniques that you can implement to help you avoid getting side-tracked or veering off course too much. These methods are;
1) Write out your Specific, Measurable, Realistic and Time Bounded goals at the start of every New Year.
2) Be your own good time manager.
3) Develop Milestones towards your goals.
4) Analyze your progress on a daily basis.
5) Avoid procrastination in decisions and actions.
6) Implement motivational techniques; specifically in hard times. For example I used to listen motivational songs to pick me up.
P.S. (Really its Works).